


Good enough

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:56:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: He gets insecure about being a father, and she is right there to help him get through his fears





	Good enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
This fic idea ran through my head for some time before I wrote it, and it was a pleasure to explore that side of Ethan, I hope you like it :D  
Enjoy! <3

Ethan didn’t know what to think about having kids. He was very devoted to his job, it was taking most of his time, he didn’t have time to properly date, not to mention take care of a child.

He always thought he would be alone. Just like Naveen. He saw his mentor go through his life, no wife, no kids. Just Ethan, who started treating the old man like a father.

Then Claire stepped into his life. Or, more specifically, she barged in, busting down his walls, taking over his mind and heart. He was glad that she did. At first she frustrated him. Then, she intrigued him. As time went on, he realized that he not only wanted her, he _needed_ her, like the air he breathed.

Their work didn’t get in way of their relationship, she joined the diagnostic team and she stayed in his heart forever.

Their relationship was growing stronger, eventually he proposed and they got married. He was the happiest man alive, not quite sure why she chose him. He knew how many people saw her and wanted her, yet she chose him.

“Claire… what made you fall in love with me?” he asked her one evening, they were lying on the sofa in their living room, two glasses of wine on the table.

“What do you mean?” confusion bloomed on her face as she turned around to face him. He took her hands in his, hers, small and delicate, in his bigger ones, more damaged by years of work.

“I just… you could have anyone. _Literally anyone._ I saw how those two boys were looking at you back when you were an intern. It just made me wonder, why exactly did you choose me over them. I was rude to you and to others, grumpy and closed off, I’m eight years older than you…” his head fell slightly, his cheeks pink. She took his face in her hands, making him look at her.

“Ethan, you know that I only want you, right? You are brilliant, your knowledge still amazes me, you care about your patients, you care about things you love. It’s the most important thing in the world. Yes, you were rude, but I strongly believe that it was a result of those walls you put up around yourself. Yes, you are older. So what? It just means you are more _experienced_.” She smirked, biting her lip. She captivated him, one look at her and he forgot what he was doing, where he was going, where he was. He took her in his arms and carried her to their bedroom, passion coursing through them.

They did talk about having children. The first time was when they were testing the machine at the hospital. He told her then that he didn’t think he could have children, because he didn’t want to abandon them and leave them to themselves because of his work.

Next time they talked about it was right after he proposed. They were laying in bed, spent from their previous activities, her head on his chest, his fingers stroking the skin on her arm.

“I don’t know. I would like our children to actually know what I look like. And I don’t think it would be possible as of right now.” He said softly. She looked up at him, her face sincere.

“I know what you mean. I too think it would be difficult to manage both our work and kids if there were any. Don’t worry about it now.” She kissed his jaw softly and snuggled into him, his arms tightening around her.

As time went on, he got more and more accustomed to the idea of a child in their lives. They were married for two years when he picked up the discussion again, they decided to try, both of them excited for a new addition to their small family.

After two months of trying, she broke the news to him. Euphoria took over his emotions, he started crying, hugging her close but being mindful of her stomach.

They made sure that she stayed away from any infectious patients to minimize the risk of her falling sick.

He took good care of her, helping her with morning sickness and spoiling her with about anything she desired. He felt helpless, looking at her struggling with vomiting and fatigue, knowing there was nothing he could do to take it away from her, all he could do was be there for her. And she made sure he knew she appreciated it, knowing him and how his mind worked.

She was sleeping, her back killing her, when the tiny noise woke her up. She sat up slowly, extending with her hand to the other side of bed, trying to reach for Ethan only to find him gone. There was light coming through the bathroom door which were not closed all the way. She stood up slowly and carefully, trying not to make any noise and approached the door. What she saw in there broke her heart.

Ethan was sitting on the floor, his hands covering his face, his whole body shaking with sobs, rocking back and forth. He was _crying, _some sort of hysteria taking him over. She rushed to his side and placed her hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see his wife, concern on her face. He quickly wiped his tears off his face, trying to conceal the fact that just mere seconds ago he was falling apart.

“Hey, what is it? What’s the matter?” she asked, trying to kneel down gently next to him. He saw that and shook his hand. Oh no, he would not let her sit on the floor. He stopped her, stood up and gathered her into his arms, carrying her back to their bed.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ethan, that was clearly not “nothing”. You were having a _panic attack_. Talk to me. We are supposed to talk, remember?” she smiled softly. She was sitting on the edge of the bed and he was standing before her. Suddenly it seemed as though his knees gave up under him, he fell to the ground. She caught him by his shoulders, steadying him. He leaned forward and buried his face in her stomach, kissing her belly gently. She stroked his hair with her fingers.

“I worry about not being a good father…” he mumbled into her stomach.

“What? Ethan…”

“No, just… hear me out, okay?” he interrupted her, their eyes meeting for a short moment. She nodded her head slightly before he started talking.

“I didn’t have an amazing childhood. My parents were always absent, both too preoccupied by work. I didn’t have a good father figure, until Naveen that is. He is more of a father to me than my own. I have no idea how to be a father. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing, how to behave, how to take care of a child… There are only a few things in this world that I’m sure of. My love for you is the biggest one. I’m also sure that you will be and exceptional mother to our child. No doubt about that in my mind. But I also know that I have the potential to be the worst father ever to exist. How can I be a father if I never had anyone to show me how it is to have a father in the first place?” He broke down again, his tears soaking her sleeping gown, his face buried against her belly again. “I don’t know if I’m _good enough_ to be a father”. His voice cracked, arms pulling her closer to him. She leaned forward, placing her hands on the sides of his face to make him look at her.

“Ethan. Look at me, Honey. I know that you’re scared. Honestly, so am I. I don’t know if you realize, but I too never had a child.” She pinched his cheeks softly, both of them laughing at her words.

“I know that your relationship with your parents is difficult. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean that you will be a bad father. I actually think you will be an amazing father. I saw you with kids, Ethan. I saw you taking care of them at the hospital, you are the sweetest person around them. Almost as sweet as when you are alone with me.” She winked, his cheeks reddening. “You have Naveen. You know what is right and you know what is wrong. I know you, Ethan. I know that you are a perfectionist, you won’t stop until you get it right. You are going to be a father that does his best to make sure our kids want for nothing. Besides, I am here. You can count on me; you know I won’t let you be a bad father.” She teased him, tugging gently on his earlobe with her fingers. “You should also know that I won’t let you think so negatively about yourself. We’ll learn to do this, together. As always.”

He pressed his lips to hers, his hands flat against her back, pushing her closer to him, their faces on the same level due to the position they were in.

“Thank you, Love. I needed to hear it. You always know what to say.” He relaxed a little, laying her back down on their bed and wrapping himself around her, her back against his chest.

“That’s just because I know you, Ethan.” She kissed his hand, hugging it close to her heart.

Six months later Louisa Ramsey was born. Ethan has never seen a more beautiful baby, she was so strong, just like her mother. He spent as much of his time as he could with her, his incredible wife by his side through it all.

He didn’t know why he was so scared in the first place. Right now, he couldn’t imagine anything more amazing than coming home to the love of his life and their daughter, hugging them tightly, smiling widely.

He could hold his whole world in his arms.


End file.
